Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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