You really coming over, don't trick.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
