Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
