Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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