Little spoons don't ask big questions
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
