so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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