Me too!
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I woke up under a house in Key West
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
