he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
