my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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