he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
