Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
