Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
