remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
