i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Im part way to drunk.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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