Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
