it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
