YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
