I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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