The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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