Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
