just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
