I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
