i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
