i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
