This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
