I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
