I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
