why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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