i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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