just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
