I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
