well I can't set my house on fire every night
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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