Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you had me at cake vodka
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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