the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
