So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
