Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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