what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
