I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
