Dual....:-)
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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