My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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