I wish i was in the wii world.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
