your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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