i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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