new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
