he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
