my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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