If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
