You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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