your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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