that's an acceptable place to lick
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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